Whereas some may say Donald Trump‘s inauguration marked a somber day in U.S. historical past, The Each day Present‘s Jon Stewart had dick jokes aplenty.
The comic and political host incised the D.C. affair with one-liners geared toward these in attendance (from their trend decisions to their basic choice to point out up in any respect), X proprietor Elon Musk’s odd/doubtlessly terrifying salute and outgoing POTUS Joe Biden’s down-to-the-wire blanket pardon.
Concerning the peaceable transition of energy, which started with Biden’s tea-time with Trump, Stewart quipped: “I’m not saying Biden ought to have finished his personal riot, however there’s gotta be a contented medium between storming the Capitol and ‘would you want a crumpet?’”
As for these current, Stewart marveled on the individuals who had beforehand denounced Trump — as a fascist and in any other case — who dropped by: “George Bush appeared form of there — undoubtedly excessive. Even Mike Pence confirmed up, I suppose to let the gang end the job. Solely Michelle Obama appeared to have the constant moral stance of claiming, ‘Once they go low, I keep the f— dwelling.’”
Trend statements have been additionally made, giving Stewart a chance to lob a dig at Melania Trump’s modern hat, which “doubled as an efficient [barrier to Trump’s attempt to kiss her.] When you don’t management your borders…”
However maybe the look of the night was technocracy, as Stewart commented on the presence of billionaire CEOs Mark Zuckerberg (Meta), Tim Cook dinner (Apple), Jeff Bezos (Amazon), Shou Zi Chew (TikTok), Sundar Pichai (Google) and Musk (Tesla) in seats that will have ordinarily gone to Democratic and Republican governors.
“In the meantime, many dignitaries went not solely hatless, however hairless,” he stated. “With the plethora of stocky, bald billionaires who all appeared to go to the identical bio-hack life-extension clinic and say ‘give me the Lex Luthor.’”
He joked, “The 6 guys who management possibly 20% of world’s wealth and a 100% of your nudes,” including, “Shouldn’t this gathering be taking place at a volcano’s lair close to Zurich, or are we simply open-source Illuminati now? The place’s the conspiracy enjoyable in that?”
As for Musk’s gesture — already taking social media and shops by storm, and which the Anti-Defamation League has defended as “awkward” and “not a Nazi salute” — Stewart stated after rolling the clip: “Charitably, I’m going to say that was simply an ungainly, ‘my coronary heart goes out to you’ gesture. F—ing nerve-wracking day, you’re not usually a public speaker, it’s a one-off gesture, please strive to not use it once more.”
Stewart then let the clip proceed, that includes Musk’s repetition of the gesture together with his again to the stage: “Son of a bitch! Actually wanna ensure the individuals within the again see it, I suppose. I’m simply gonna be beneficiant and say that was Elon’s try at dabbing on the haters? By the way in which, do individuals nonetheless dab on haters? Was {that a} very previous man factor [to say]?”
Whereas the torch was being handed to the “identical technology of People,” Stewart joked about Trump not putting his hand on the Bible whereas being sworn in, “clearly as a result of one or the opposite would burst into flames. Maybe each.”
It was all a really kosher “regular switch of energy sh–” besides Biden’s last-minute issuing of a blanket pardon of his household:
“Initially, Biden, you’re on the inauguration. Did you auto-schedule your pardons? And second of all, what the f— man? You’re simply pardoning your entire household? It’s not an excellent look. Yeah, like all good captain, because the ship goes down, Biden gave the order: ‘That life boat is for my household! The remainder of you are able to do similar to a Jack and Rose factor, one on, one off, 50-50 shot, who provides a sh–?”
The final word takeaway of the day for Stewart was: “man who tried to overthrow the federal government has been peacefully handed the reigns of energy and the outgoing president has began a brand new custom of blanket pardoning everybody in his orbit — the 2 males creating an impressive snake-sucking-its-own-dick cycle of no accountability.”
Watch the complete phase under:
